Greetings of Fall!

Cooler temperatures, brighter colors and; Halloween!  A chance - permission even - to dress up as your shadow self - Saboteur or deepest Lower Self monster! I hope you will.  Have fun!

This month I have written the promised third article on Vital Sexuality. This one focuses on good sex into the mid to later years. Possible? Yes!

Remember: Sexuality is not only about putting part A into part B. Sexuality is part of The Life Force. It is how we breathe, move, laugh, and cry. It's about how our energy flows through our being. Or not.

I am offering two workshops on Vital Sexuality. Join me to transform your stuck places and find more pleasure and joy in your life!

Please write and give me feedback on this newsletter. And let me know what you would like me to write about in the future. And tell me - What are the sexiest songs you know? Send me your top one or two! I'll report back in the November issue. One of mine is Slow Hand by Captain & Tennille - here is a version by the Pointer Sisters. For fun listen to Sexual Healing by Marvin Gaye.

Peace and love, Pam

P.S. Although Core Energetics is not a political organization, our foundation rests on taking care of people. All people. Wilhelm Reich was a very political man. Alexander Lowen championed all people and John Pierrakos loved everyone, great or small. Each one of them would have supported Universal Health Care. If you do too, please write and call your senators, representatives and President Obama...again and again and again.  Don't give up! Consider demonstrating to demand our right to care that is not for profit, and make your voice heard about a subject that effects us all deeply.

© by Pam Chubbuck, Ph.D.

Best Orgasms - When?
My sister is one of my favorite people on the planet. I told her I was writing about sexuality and wondered if she would be willing to talk with me about hers. She was.
Married to her college sweetheart almost 50 years, they are still in love and a wonderful couple.
I asked her;, “how is sex now that you are 72?
She replied; Great!”
How about orgasms? I asked.
“I’ve had my best orgasms after I turned 60”, she told me.
Wow!
“You know what? So have I”! I replied.
And her 78 year old husband doesn’t need Viagra!

How have we managed to be able to have more and more pleasure as years go on?
I don’t think it runs in our family on the maternal side. Our mother did not like her body much and truly enjoyable sex takes being comfortable in the body you are trying to have fun in.

Good Sex at 89!
My adopted Mom, Nadine who is 89 years old casually mentions having sex with her 78 year old husband of forever, like it was the most natural thing to do in “old age”. And it is! Nadine has had fun in her body most of her life. Read my poem “Adopt a Mom”, which is from my book of poems. It’s about Nadine.

Vitally Alive People Have More Pleasure
Nadine, my sister and brother-in-law and I are all people who enjoy the adventure of living. Creative, inquisitive, open to new things. We each enjoy life, friends and family, and very important - we allow the Life Force to move through us.

What is The Life Force?
The Life Force is the energy without which we would be dead. It is the energy that when moving with vibrating aliveness we are radiant, or when blocked we feel sluggish, depressed, and much less alive.

How Does The Life Force Get Blocked?
We block our Life Force to comply with what our parents and outer world demand of us. We block our Life Force, our Vital Sexuality because we have been hurt, frightened, and sometimes threatened. “If you have unmarried sex; or feel “too sexual” and express it you will be punished.” We’re taught: we will go to hell. Scary enough to stop our breathing and those fine vibrational impulses that create orgasm.

The constraints our parents the church, and society put on us create difficulties in relationships, work, and in our seeing life clearly which then even distorts our ability to make good political choices.

Sexual expression is not always blocked by obvious trauma. (See September Newsletter Vital Sexuality Part 2). Many of us who have to heal from sexual blocking were never abused, abandoned or even explicitly taught sex was bad

I, like others, started out as a vibrant baby. I climbed and crawled early. Around 4 and 5 I pooped outside behind bushes and experimented with playing “doctor” with a little boy down the street. I vividly recall riding my tricycle three houses away to one of those encounters. Later I was still an alive girl who ran, rode horses, swung on a trapeze and climbed trees. I liked boys and had a wonderful older brother as a role model and protector. My dad was an excellent male figure. Strong, grounded and kind.

My mother never said a negative thing about sex, but her energy told me that she was not comfortable with me being that alive.” I’m sure my father became uncomfortable with the feelings he had when he was around my high energy preteen sexual streaming. Dad and I were always close and he was the parent who held me and hugged me. He was my nurturing parent. But - he backed away when I first was growing into womanlike.

Much later, in therapy, I remembered that when I was about 15, I decided that, if Dad was backing away from physical and emotional closeness with me, then what I was feeling/doing was somehow pushing him away. And therefore must be negative. Wrong. My fault. If Dad went away I would surely die. So I began to block my sexual energy and got very good at blocking it and did so for many years.

I had a decade of Bioenergetic and Core Energetic therapy before I could allow myself body shaking (literally) pleasure. I needed and got more years of these body psychotherapies to reclaim my full sexual self. I thank John Pierrakos for being so clear that sexuality is a natural part of the Life Force and for knowing how to help me live in every single cell.

Why are so many couples complaining about low sex drives in older years? Men and women. The ones who want sex are usually married to the ones who don’t want sex. One client whose husband is not interested and another whose husband wants sex too often for her. Another whose wife wants sex but he does not.
Why is Viagra the drug of choice among men 50 and above? It’s the best selling drug of the century so far. Why are many women feeling dried up and sexually dysfunctional post 50 or younger?

Case:
Remember in Augusts’ article Vital Sexuality Part One; I gave several examples of what people bring to therapy as a presenting complaint. The following was one example.

Client: 40 year old, Three kids.  "I hate my body. I don't want to have sex with my husband. My breasts sag and I don't want my husband to see me naked."

Many people have negative body images and don’t seem to be able to easily get past them. Many men and women are cut off from their bodies and some hate them. People who hate their bodies can and do create disease processes to occur. A woman who hated her left breast (and her mother) developed breast cancer in that breast. With medical treatment and body psychotherapy she recovered and has stayed cancer free for over 15 years.

Where does this body hatred come from? You are not born with this issue. It is something that comes from how you are treated as an infant and child and/or what subtle messages were given to you by your care givers. A girl whose mother does not like her own body must overcome what her mother can not give to her - the joy of being a woman. She must find that for herself and needs a powerful loving female role model to show her how. I have written about this need extensively in my book Passages into Womanhood: Empowering Girls to Love Themselves.

The answer is found in the body. The body is the frozen history of the person, said Wilhelm Reich. The body does not lie. Said Lowen, Pierrakos, Miller and well – me.

Move to Get Unstuck! Since sexuality is a body phenomenon it is impossible to fully reclaim your sexuality by talking. To fan a sexual ember to flame, you must move your body! Moving your body can unstick the stuck places by making molecules move! John Pierrakos used to say that we needed to heat up the whole system – body/emotions especially - which would make our literal molecules move faster and by doing that they could transform into something better. We can heal!

Heal Yourself! Reclaim your vital sexuality! Although this work is not easy or a magic fix, I and many others have had exceptional healings with the work of Core Energetics and Bioenergetic Analysis. It’s worth it! You too can come more joyously alive!

Upcoming Core Energetics South Events: November 2009: Introduction to Homeopathy for Clients & Therapists With Pam Chubbuck PhD December 2009: Screening of: Wilhelm Reich Movie: Viva Little Man & Discussion: Introduction to Reichian Body Psychotherapy, Bioenergetics & Core Energetics January 2010 : FREE EVENT: Alexander Lowen Memorial Film Viewing One Saturday per month Jan through June 2010 New Ongoing Process Group Forming. Open to All Workshops Dec & Feb Finding Your Vital Sexuality Please email to register for all events. coreenergetics@msn.com Pam Chubbuck, PhD will be conducting all these events. Please email Pam or call Pam at Core South for details at (770) 388 - 00866. All Events Take Place in Metro Atlanta Area, Between Stone Mountain & Snellville.

Adopt A Mom
From the book "What My Mother Never Told me About Bleeding and Other Essential Stuff: Poems to Amuse, Enlighten, and Empower Women"

© by Pamela Chubbuck

If your mom doesn't know
Or is scared to tell...
Because she was raised by a fearful mother herself...
And you long for the truth told by a woman...
Find yourself a wise, funny, open, full-of-life one...
Who does know...
And finds joy in sharing...
Then adopt her...

Thank God for Nadine...
Who at 88
Yesterday said, matter-of-factly...
"We woke up...
Talked...
Made love...
Got up and did our exercises...
And ate a healthy breakfast."
Like sex is a part of normal life...
Easy...
Pleasurable...
Good for you...
Like eating multi grain toast...
With organic preserves...

25 years ago
Lying in the crook of her arm...
In Phoenix, where her play was having its Off Broadway opening...
Love flowed freely from her open heart...
Her voice...
Her touch...
And surrounded me...
I felt soft and safe...
I couldn't imagine telling her anything that she would not
Want to hear...
Understand...
Embrace...
And love...
"I'd like to adopt you as my Mom...
Is that OK, I asked?"
"You already are my daughter, " she replied.

Smiling
I breathed a sigh of satisfaction...
And cavernous relief...
My own mother gave me the gift of life
Taught me good things...
And I am grateful...
But the many things she was unable to tell me
I needed...and still need...
To hear and feel from a real flesh and blood woman...
A crone
A wise woman
Who celebrates life...
And lives unmasked and juicy...

Please Click to Read this Online Mayo Clinic Article: Sexual Health and Aging: Keep the passion alive

Group Forming for Serious Seekers November 2009 through June 2010 When: One Saturday a month until June 2010 Start Date: When Group is formed Exact dates will be confirmed before group starts Cost: $150.00 per group Payment by cash, check or credit card with PayPal online (additional $5 fee with online payment) Time: 10:00 AM to 5:30 PM Where: Atlanta Metro Area, Pam’s Office, Snellville, GA 30039 Who: Serious seekers - men and women ages, 21- 95 "Pam is truly a master in her craft and a woman of profound integrity. I have spent years working on symptoms; she got right to the core. Pam is a world treasure!" ~Jim Worby, Columbus, Ohio "Pam gave me the tools to go from where I was to where I wanted to go. It had been like trudging through a deep jungle and she showed me how to clear my own way!" ~ Melissa Hurley, Atlanta

 

Now on DVD! Pam Chubbuck's International Selling Video! Say Yes To Life! Grounding and Loving Your Body & Expressing Your Emotions and Opening To Your Core Watch A Video Clip Here

Please Click to Read this New York Times Blog Article: The Alternative Medicine Cabinet: Arnica for Pain Relief

 

"The highest ideal of cure is rapid, gentle and permanent restoration of the health, or removal and annihilation of the disease in its whole extent, in the shortest, most reliable, and most harmless way, on easily comprehensible principles."    - Samuel Hahnemann (founder of modern Homeopathy)

Wilhem Reich & family

Vital Sexuality -  Three Core Energetics Workshops!  

Find Your Vital Sexuality! - Workshop Leader - Pam Chubbuck PhD

In Core Energetics, sexual energy and life force energy are the same. When we can experience ourselves as fully developed sexual beings, alive with vibrant energy coursing through our bodies, we feel more connected, creative, and better able to discover our gifts and bring them to the world.

Core Energetics uses body-based techniques to help us feel our resistance to pleasure, understand the wounds that caused it, and learn to trust. We teach you techniques to free up energy, so that you may access more pleasure and fulfillment.

Come work to transform your blocked energy! Be part of this powerful group experience.

Clients speak of working with Pam: "I have begun to feel my sexuality in a way that I never dreamed possible for myself.  As an individual who thought that I would be in "conventional" therapy forever, I am very grateful for the development and implementation of Core Energetics body-centered therapy."
~ Lisa Larsen-Moss, engineer, graduate, BB

"Pam accomplishes in 2 hours what psychoanalysis takes 20 years to do." 
~ J. F. workshop participant, Barcelona, Spain

"Once or twice in a lifetime someone enters your life that truly makes a huge positive difference. Pam Chubbuck is one of those people for me."
~ Edith Heter, California

When: 
December 13-14-15, 2009

And February 5-6-7, 2010

Friday Evening, Saturday and Sunday
(Friday PM to Sunday PM)

Limited to only ten seekers to give personal time to each participant.

This workshop is designed for all: Men and women, gay and straight, mental health professionals and non professions, all ages - (21 - 95).

Core CEUs for LPCs are available.
Other licensed professionals may receive CEUs if they pre-certify with their association.

If I have not worked with you before, you will have an interview prior to the workshop.

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